


Dear Mr. Stark (I Hate You)

by StrivingForImprovement



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Death Threats, Heart-to-Heart, Helpful Tony Stark, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, M/M, Sarcasm, Therapy, Threats, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:06:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29528229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrivingForImprovement/pseuds/StrivingForImprovement
Summary: After thinking over his feelings about Tony for a long time, Loki decides to write Tony a letter so he can explain to him exactly how he feels
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 27
Kudos: 73





	Dear Mr. Stark (I Hate You)

Dear Mr. Stark,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I, with all sincerity and being of sound mind and body, hate you beyond measure.

The last time I cried I was being born, but every time I see your face, the urge to backhand you and send you spiraling into a wall is so strong that the mere fact that I cannot do so nearly makes me weep. It is not your annoying love of sarcasm or the amount of different whores you bring through here each and every day that pisses me off beyond measure. It's the stupid and infuriating way you act around me.

Many a day in my life I have had to be my own source of joy. I am very familiar with having to entertain myself with various games and thought for long periods of time yet currently my favorite game is the one where I devise different ways with which to kill you. Most recently I imagined liquidating all of your assets, filling a pool with your money, and then drowning you in it. It has brought me great joy.

In your courts here in Midgard as well as the courts back on Asgard, the accused parties have the right to hear their crimes that they are accused of listed out to them for clarity. Just to ensure that there is no confusion amongst us anymore in the future, I will now proceed to list said crimes to you.

If it weren't for the current terms of my freedom from Asgard (namely the stipulation that I am not allowed to take any human lives), the penalty for your many transgressions would most certainly be death. As it is that option is unavailable to me. So, instead, I will obey my nature and give you a more fitting and destructive punishment to match the mischief you have brought upon my life.

Crime Number 1: You are disgustingly, unnecessarily nice to me

You have brought me into your home and allowed me a place to stay, permanently might I add, with little to no hesitation or regard for the destruction I may wreak on your life. I may have understood (though begrudgingly and with hate still in my heart) if you had done so slowly and cautiously over time as your teammates did, trusting me little by little more and more each day. When my brother came down from the bifrost broken completely beyond repair from my prolonged punishment, I did not expect him to bring me here of all place.

The vastness of my brother's inexplicable stupidity is only matched by his pitiable levels of trust for his human companions. I was actually relieved when I saw where he brought me I was filled with so much joy in that one moment that it greatly eclipsed every other happy moment to ever exist in my life because I knew you were going to kill me! Finally, I could be free! I could be safe and warm in the sweet clutches of death! If I were capable of such a thing at the time I would've laughed and cried tears of joy.

Your friend Barton immediately raised an arrow, ready to remove me from existence permanently. The little widow did the same and looked happy to finish me off as well. Dr. Banner was beginning to turn green and having to restrain himself immensely. It wouldn't take much goading to convince him to end me. Even your captain looked cautiously ready to at least detain me and hand me over to SHIELD who would've killed me no questions asked! But then there was you!

As you stood there and watched a dangerous enemy that tried to take over your realm ready to be eliminated and unable to put up a resistance what did you do? YOU STOOD IN FRONT OF THEM! You took it away from me! You ruined my chance! There was a curious midgaridan movie your lot showed me on one of your 'movie nights' where a man reflected that a hero had not saved his life but had ruined his death. It took more self control than I have ever had to use at once before to prevent me from jumping across the couch and choking you to death.

You invited me into your home, not just to heal but to stay forever if I wished! You didn't hesitate or think twice about it and you even gave me my own quarters in a secluded part of your tower for my own privacy! One day while eavesdropping on a conversation between you and my brother I heard him ask you why you allowed that to happen. You asked him, half-joking might I add as if placing a convicted murderer in your house to heal made sense, what type of man would you be if you didn't. You would be smart. The other midgaridans seem to believe that you are smart! This evaluation of your intelligence from them has made me consider you all a prehistoric civilization incapable of intelligent life and if I could do so without consequence, I would gladly subjicate your planet again this time successfully. 

Crime Number 2: You provide for me

Allowing me into your home was one thing, but then you gave me anything I wanted. Anything! I tried asking for things that I knew you wouldn't buy just to see if you would buy them! I once asked you for a jet. You bought it for me. I proceeded to crash it and asked for another one while standing in front of the burnt-out wreckage of the first one while the firefighters desperately tried to put out the blaze and the very next day without a thought or care YOU BOUGHT IT FOR ME! Your only excuse for your actions was to shrug and say 'no one got hurt.'

It is as if you enjoy seeing me drive myself into violent states of hysteria! You believe that money is no object. Thor once sat down and explained to me exactly how much of it you have and it is a large fortune to be sure. I will find a way to ask you for enough meaningless items and toys to deplete you of your current wealth and leave your account so deep in the red that the number of zeroes behind your debt will match the number of zeroes behind your current net worth!

On top of this, you even refused to try and cheat me! Anything I ask for I am given the best of it that money can buy and as we've already discussed, your money can buy a lot. If I want you to not splurge on me I have to specifically ask you for something cheap to make it happen! The anger it brings me is blinding because it conflicts with my goals to leave you less than penniless and yet it allows you a chance to dote over me like some caring spawn!

I once asked you for a suit to go to dinner with a friend. You had your own personal tailor come to my rooms to design me five custom-made silk suits that were tailored to my personal styles and tastes! I was so mad at your transgression I immediately went to the restaurant that I was originally going to dine in and wreaked havoc on the whole building the entire night. When I was angrily approached by the owner and told I would have to pay for the damages I had done to the place, I had them send it your way and I watched as you signed it without even blinking! I'm fairly certain you didn't even look at the amount!

It may have quelled my anger at least gradually if I had seen you give this sort of treatment to any of your other friends. It would make sense if you bothered to dote on them! So far however the only person I see you give this treatment to besides me is Ms. Pepper, who has been your most caring friend for most of your life and who rarely even uses the privilege in the first place.

I have come to the point where I feel the need to once again clarify your stance in my eyes so that you don't get confused. As the midgaridan saying goes, if you were on fire I would not piss on you to put you out. I would roast marshmallows over your screaming soon-to-be corpse. If this situation were reversed, if you were brought to me and were requiring my assistance and needed me to buy something for you, I would have the money brought to me, slowly rip it into irreparable pieces thereby ruining their value and then throw them over you like confetti and laugh at the hopeless tears that I assume would be in your eyes. 

Crime Number 3: You healed me

You have gone to great lengths not just to give me comfort in my stay but to actually aid in my betterment. When I needed herbs from Svarthelheim in order to finish my recipe for the potion I was concocting to heal my broken limbs, you found them immediately, leaving that same day. You traveled with my brother, a true trial on its own I know, to a foreign land that for all you knew could be teaming with danger just to help me.

Should I remind you that I tried to destroy your realm? Should I remind you that I tried to murder you by violently throwing you out of a window to meet your ultimate demise at the hands of gravity and the concrete? Should I remind you that I'm your enemy? You're not supposed to help your enemy! It's battle strategy 101! The amount of blatant and unquestioning assistance you have provided to me in my time of need has made me seriously question if you know the meaning of the word enemy and if your realm should seriously reconsider your given title as a hero. You may be even worse than me at his point.

Even if you were going to help me it didn't make sense not to leave me crippled as I was. I could have operated fine on half-strength or even a quarter and lived a good life and no one could have begrudge you for leaving me weaker. You insisted that I become better one hundred percent in both body and mind. You even offered to hire me a therapist to help me unpack and deal with all of the pain and mental anguish I have been suffering after the ordeal with my family. You actually cared for me to no gain of your own.

Part of me assumed in the beginning that all of this was nothing more than a ruse, a tactic for you to gain my trust and convince me to become one of the guardians of your realm. Then it became clearer and clearer as time went on that wasn't true. I have gone through every conclusion, every possibility, and every option meticulously and the only answer I could find as to why you would do this is became you genuinely care for me and want to see me heal and see me better myself. I do not know who, in all their audacity, gave you the right.

Crime Number 4: You care nothing for the pranks and tricks I cause you and your companions in your home

I have wreaked chaos on your home on a daily basis every day as soon as I was able to do so. Some of these pranks were mild such as enchanting all of the water in the tower to turn you and all of the inhabitants of the tower pink. Some were more chaotic like releasing a giant beast onto the streets of your city to cause panic and terror in your citizens for my own pleasure. The monsters of course were merely holographic but the earthlings didn't know that.

Your teammates have all come to you at one point or another after a prank that was too much and told you that I have gotten out of control. When they finally all came together to talk to you about how I was out of control with my pranking habits, you promised them that you would come talk to me. I was ecstatic, so happy. Finally a response from you that made sense!

Then you talked to me about and I almost screamed when I realized you didn't want to talk to me about stopping my pranks. You simply wanted to join me in doing them. You said they looked like fun. You helped me create chaos and mischief laughing with a matching grin by my side the entire time. I hated you all the more for it no matter how much I liked having you there by my side. Almost as if you belonged there. I don't care how good that felt!

You helped me in performing some of my larger tricks and even helped me create some of them. Your teammates complained and moaned about it, they still do, but you didn't care you just continued to let me be. I once asked you why you let me dish out so much chaos without so much as a blink. You simply shrugged and said it was in my nature. I asked you why you joined me in them and you said that you guessed it was because it was in your nature too. I wanted to kiss you and kill you at the same time.

Crime Number 5:

I will not put a title to this crime. I refuse to write the word to describe the action more than two times so I will simply put it in here and pretend it doesn't exist. Barbara (the therapist you paid for to keep me emotionally stable) recommended I write this letter to you and send it so I can say all of the things to you that I can't say to your face without smacking you so hard your neck breaks immediately after. I have written this letter five times so far and each time I give up on the previous incarnation at this point. If you are looking for the others one, I will string you by your tongue, and two I incinerated them, but I am tired of writing and rewriting this letter so I will simply say it and let everything fall where it may.

You are in love with me. It is true and I know it is, and not just because you said it to me that one day while we were out at the park on something that a lesser stupider more nieve being might confuse for a date. My brother suggested that you might have feelings for me long ago when we first started this charade. I immediately dismissed his thoughts and told him that the shocking lack of brain cells he had already made him a scientific anomaly.

I was content believing what he said wasn't true. I was happy about it even, dismissing his thoughts without a second thought. Then I saw your actions. You bought me things. You comforted me. You helped me, you treated me like I was truly precious and something that you would always treasure for the rest of your life. Truly no one has treated me with such love and kindness except my mother. I didn't know what to do at first. I stayed in my room for three days after that revelation, not eating not sleeping just thinking and wanting to mentally scream.

After a lot of consideration, however, I told myself that it was fine as long as I didn't return your feelings and for a while, everything was ok because I didn't care about you. It didn't matter what you did because I didn't care. Your tenderness and your need to take care of me was irrelevant. Surely I didn't return your feelings. The warm feeling I got in my chest when I saw you smile wasn't because I cared. The way my heart stopped beating whenever you looked at me was not...

I do not love you. I do not care whether that statement is true or not, I will keep saying it to myself. I will wake up saying it and go to sleep with and force myself to believe it is true as long as it means I don't have to admit to something I am not even close to ready for. Barbara says that maybe if I keep going through my emotions and healing myself mentally, one day I'll be able to return your feelings without self-destructing unlike now where it only makes me want to toss you out another window, or the same one purely for irony purposes. I keep telling myself I don't want that. I don't care about one day being able to handle the way I see you. Yet whenever she says it, I make my next appointment with her a little quicker.

I hate you. I'll say it for the rest of my days and I don't care if you believe me. I don't care if you know the truth. I don't even care about that small part of me that loses its breath whenever you get close and wants to beg you to take me into your arms and don't let go and just love me, love me with all your power until you can't love me anymore and keep going. I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you and I wish so much that was true.

I will probably seal this envelope and make the walk to your room just to give up at your door and light this on fire. Again. However, if I do deliver this to you, I want to make things clear just so there are no questions about my emotions regarding you. I hate you. I don't like you. I don't want you near me. I need you to stay away. If that doesn't make it clear just how I feel, you are truly as dense as a rock.

Yours (no I'm not),

Loki

P.S: AS for your punishment, I will be invading your workshop, hacking JARVIS, and infecting him with a piece of foreign code that will force him to only say sarcastic unhelpful comments giving him no true way to help you while also annoying you while he does it. Good luck finding it.


End file.
